Thoughts
by Sweetheart91597
Summary: 'When the night is quiet, you hear your own thoughts' The boys are lost in their own thoughts about how their life was, is and will be. One-year anniversary story! :D
1. Raph

Raph's POV

Here I am, in the middle of the night. We just came back from a boring patrol and just went straight to bed. Well, except for Donnie of course… I tried sleeping, but no matter how hard I try my thoughts keep wandering off.  
>Maybe it's because of what Donnie said: 'when the night is quiet, you hear your own thoughts'.<br>At the time, we all laughed at him. But here I am, lost in my own thoughts. So I stop fighting them. I sit on my bed with my shell against the wall and let my thoughts flow freely…

Our life as a kid wasn't easy. We never knew when we would get some 'food' and if we would still be safe. Because believe me when I tell you: the life in the New York sewer isn't as pretty as it sounds!  
>Sensei tried his best and he risked his life more often than he would like to admit. Without him, we wouldn't have survived that first week. He found us shelter, looked for food… He took care of us, like we were his sons. And we looked up to him like he was our father. But even with his good care, there was a constant threat in our lives.<p>

Back then, neither of us knew how to fight. So even Leo couldn't protect us when we were in danger.  
>Even I wasn't (this) hot-tempered yet. I was angry when things didn't go my way, but I didn't fight as much with my brothers as I do know.<br>Back in the days when Donnie wasn't a genius, we didn't have a well hidden lair and a security system.  
>But all those years ago, Mikey already was a complete buthead! If you heard someone fall or break something, you didn't have to look to know it was Mikey. He acted completely ridiculous and was the clown of the family.<br>Oh, how things have changed…  
>Since the day we went up to the surface, everything started changing. And everyone as well…<p>

Sensei became even more strict and more protective. It's just because he cares about us, but that doesn't make it any less annoying! He also took our training to an entire new level. And after every scratch we get is cleaned and bandaged, we get an upgrade in our training. Just to make sure we won't get another scratch like that!  
>Without his wisdom, we would never be the ninja's we are today.<p>

Leo always wanted to take care of us and we liked it. It took a burden off of our shoulders and he enjoyed being needed. But that changed…  
>We all remember the day sensei made Leo the leader. Not just because it changed our lives, but because it changed Leo. He stopped hangin' around with me, helping Donnie with a project or laughing with Mikey. He just… stopped being the brother I knew.<br>Sure, we never got along very well, but from that day on it got a lot worse. And the only reason is because I remember what it used to be like when he wasn't 'the highest rank'. I remember the times when we would just be equal, back when it didn't matter who was oldest or who was the youngest. We would just be brothers and that used to be enough. I wish we could get that back. Even if it was just for one night…

Then there's me. I've always been the first one to yell or talk back, I guess it's just in my blood. The others didn't mind, they accepted me and I appreciated that. But also my temper changed…  
>The day we went to the surface, we were so excited. Sensei had always tried to scare us with stories from above ground so we wouldn't want to go there. But those stories just made us more curious. We loved it! Then, we saw the bad guys and all the terrible things that were happening. All the injustice… I couldn't help it, something inside of me snapped. I felt like it was my duty to help to make this world a better place. And if I could do that by fighting against crime, then so be it. But my first duty still is: protecting my family. If you hurt them, you won't live to see another day…<p>

Our 'little' Donnie is the most insecure one of our team. He may be the smartest, but he doubts everything and then goes to his lab to test it. We keep teasing him and making fun of him, but we couldn't get around without him. He makes sure our lair is hidden and we won't be discovered. I can't keep up with what his saying most of the time, but as long as it doesn't blow up (literally!) I'm fine with it. The day we fought our first real fight, Donnie got a sort of new confidence. I think because his inventions suddenly had a purpose. He wasn't 'our handy-man' anymore. Suddenly, he was a real inventor and he got credit for what he did. Okay, we don't give him enough credit… but he knows that we appreciate what he does.

Last, but certainly not least is my baby brother Mikey. Even just thinking about him makes me smile. The two of us combined make a wonderful team to do anything that requires energy. He's just bouncing about the lair, no matter if it's morning, noon, evening… He's also the only one in this family who can cook! He's also very creative. The ideas just keep coming. And every other time, there will be a good one!  
>I know we baby him all the time because he's the youngest, but he can be a genius if he needs to. But that's the thing: he knows we got it covered, so he can be the clown and the joker he wants to be. And that's good, because we need that! I wouldn't know what I would do without my baby brother's ability to cheer us up. Actually, when I think about it, he's the only one who never changed. And that's the only way I want it! And, byt the way: without him, this family would have fallen apart years ago!<p>

The greatest thing about the four of us is that we don't have to say how we feel out loud. We just have a connection! I am so proud of all of my brothers. I wouldn't change this life for anything in the world!

When I look at my clock, I see it's 3:30 AM. I already know trying to sleep is no use, so I get up and go to our living room. Maybe there's something on TV?

**Author's note: Hi! I'm incredibly sorry for such a long break! I just was so busy with school and I had a major writers block. But I've been working on this for a while and I hope you like it :D Let me know! :) Any suggestions are welcome :)  
>Also, this story is written to celebrate my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY ON ! :D<br>**


	2. Mikey

Mikey's POV

I'm always energetic. Even when I'm asleep, I can't stay still. Just like right now.  
>But the problem is that I can't sleep. Patrol was even more boring than usual! I wasn't even in the mood to annoy the others! Anyway, we came back and went to our bedrooms. But I think I can still hear Don working in his lab. That's him: always working, always being the one with the ideas and the solutions.<br>Tonight, he even said something that kept wandering around my mind. 'When the night is quiet, you hear your own thoughts'.

When he said it at the time, me and Raph started laughing. Even Leo didn't manage to hold his laughter! And now I can't sleep because of it. Finally, I accept that I won't be able to sleep and start walking around my room. I'm a ninja, nobody notices when I do that. Stealth, you know…

My thoughts go to Donnie who's in his lab at the moment. I can hear him typing on his computer, completely in control of what he's doing. Now I think of it, he's always in control. Of everything. No matter if it's his computer, his inventions, his personality, the situation,… He knows what he's doing and how he can reach his goal. That's why I look up to him: he's everything I'm not. But that's also a special thing between us: even though we're contraries, we're best friends. I feel a smile creeping onto my face when I think about that…

Then my thoughts wander off to Raph. We're more alike and we love to hang out together: play games, prank the others,… It's great! But that doesn't happen as much as before. Leo and Raph always fought a lot, since we were young. But since that day we first went up to the surface, they started fighting daily. And the more we go up, the more they fight. And it breaks my heart to see that happen!  
>Raph's temper also got worse since then. I don't know why, but it certainly doesn't help the fights! And I can't keep finding excuses to go to my room or go to April or go to Donnie…<br>But no matter how much they fight, I know he would always protect any of us against any sort of danger. I can't keep a small grin from forming on my face.

Our 'fearless leader' Leo is the next in the row. You wouldn't say so, but he's incredibly insecure! He would be a wonderful leader if he stopped following the advice coming from cartoons and listened more to us. But to get that inside his head… I roll my eyes and lean against the wall for a second.  
>And because of these insecurities, he gets into fights with Raph. His insecurities also got worse when we got to the surface and we were engaged in our first fight.<br>Plus, he sometimes forgets that he's more than our leader. He's our oldest brother, we're a family. And in a family you can talk things out, you don't always have to fight and start yelling. You can also just take a deep breath and let it go: 'like a river over stone' (Sensei once taught Raph that). Believe me, I know everything about that!

Then there's Sensei. Splinter. Our master and our father. He trained us. Everything we know is because of him. Without him, we would never have survived until now.  
>He doesn't tell us a lot about his life before he 'met' us, but that doesn't matter to me. Everyone needs his privacy and I respect that.<br>Because I know he loves us. He doesn't say so and he's unbelievably strict for us (even more since we started fighting crime). But you just know so. The look in his eyes, the way he moves, the way he holds himself when he looks at us. He still comes to all of our rooms when he thinks we're all asleep. He would stand in the doorway for a while and whisper: "May your path be filled with love and care".

I can't imagine my life without the others. They may baby me and protect me more than I need, but I love them. And as long as they let me prank them and still are able to laugh themselves, I know they care about me as well.

I realize I've been pacing around for over an hour and decide to stop it. Maybe theere's still some left over pizza in the fridge. Mmh, pizza…µ

**Author's note: Hi! Sorry, I know: late once again! Sorry! :'( I'll try to make the next one (Leo) a little faster! :)  
>I hope you liked this chapter and of course my stories in general :D Reviews are always welcome!<br>I have some ideas for new stories written down, but I prefer working on one at a time... But there will be a story coming up from another fandom somewhere (hopefully!) within this week.  
>See you next time! :D <strong>


	3. Leo

Leo's POV

Raph calls me 'fearless leader'. He doesn't know.  
>He doesn't know what it feels like to send your own family out to fight an enemy.<br>A fight you might not return from.  
>And if something goes wrong it's my responsibility.<br>If somebody gets hurt (or worse), it's my fault.  
>If, if, if,…<br>I would give my life without a second thought if it could save or help one of my family.  
>So I'm always around, just to make sure everybody is alright.<br>That's the burden of being the oldest.  
>But I won't be able to always be around in the future.<p>

As my thoughts wander off to what might happen in the future, a voice in the back of my mind is repeating Don's words: 'When the night is quiet, you hear your own thoughts'. We laughed at him, like we do most of the time. But he was right, like he is most of the time.  
>I decide I can't sleep anyway, I pull my legs under me and start thinking about my life.<p>

I'm a perfectionist. I just NEED to be the best, there is no other way. Unlike what the others think, I'm not fearless. My biggest fear is not being good enough. No, actually that's not true. I'm afraid that I'm not good enough to protect my family.  
>Sensei keeps telling me that it's alright to have fears. And I try to accept that, but it's not as easy as it sounds. I have to face my fear every day when we go out. Danger could be lurking around every corner.<br>That first day we went to the surface, I was searching for adventure after a life in the boring sewers. Now, I almost would wish that we never went up in the first place!

Raph is the one I worry about the most. We may fight all the time, but he's my sparring partner. The one I can talk to when my worry for the youngest het the best of me. I'm the closest to him, and not just in age.  
>I hate all the fights we get in, but if he doesn't let his anger out on me someone else will be his victim. And I don't even want to think about what could happen if he's blinded by anger and then gets into a fight with the foot or the Purple dragons!<br>Once again: I just want to protect the others. Even if that means protecting Raph from himself.

Donnie isn't someone you should worry about. He knows that and he tries to keep it that way. If he has a problem, you won't notice until he can't it anymore himself. Very noble, but not needed. I once confronted him about this, but he just answered that we had more important things to do than to worry about him.  
>I trust him with everything, except for one tiny thing: his own health! He is the thinnest of us, doesn't eat enough and sometimes doesn't sleep for days on end! Plus, I'm pretty sure he's addicted to coffee…<p>

The baby of the family, Mikey, is the sweetest and kindest guy I ever met. Then again, I don't know a lot of people. But really, he's amazing! You can't stay sad when you see him! Even when he doesn't want to, he just makes you laugh! And we appreciate that. We need that to get away from the constant stress and threat in our lives.  
>His pranks may get annoying after a while, but we let him be. We wouldn't want it any other way.<p>

I look at my alarm clock and decide to get out of bed. There's no use in just sitting here anyway. Maybe Donnie can use my help?

**Author's note: Hi! I hope you liked it! :D By the way, I started writing another fandom (Lad Rats) as well. If you're interested, you can find it on my profile.  
>Xxx Sweetheart91597<strong>


	4. Donnie

Donnie's POV

As always, I'm the last one awake.  
>I've never been a good sleeper. Ever since I was a little turtle, I couldn't keep my mind down during night. Not while there are so many ideas left that I just have to use in my inventions.<br>Those inventions keep us alive. Security system, heating, T-phone,… Without those things, we would have been in a lot of trouble right now. Even more than now!  
>Some might say it's a burden to make all those stuff to keep your family safe. To me, it's normal. It's my function in our team.<br>I'm 'the brains'. And I'm always glad if I can help someone. Even if that means pulling all-nighters.  
>Like right now.<p>

When we returned from patrol, the others went straight to their rooms. I came to my lab to continue my work on a new app on the T-phones. But unlike usual, I can't keep my mind from wandering to my family.

During patrol, I said to the guys: 'When the night is quiet, you hear your own thoughts'. They laughed at me, but that doesn't matter to me. It never mattered what someone else thought off me. I believe in myself and that's enough.  
>Bu right now, I can't stop thinking of what I said back then. I put down my tools and just lean back in my chair while letting my mind rush through my head…<p>

I think about Leo. He's the calmest of our team Well, aside from me. That's probably why he's our leader. He makes sure we stay out of danger, as far as that's possible of course.  
>But he can also freak out, much like Raph when he sees a bug. Then it's up to me to either calm him down or to take the leadership.<br>I don't like leading, but sometimes there just is no other way. And I would do anything to protect our family.

Raph is my complete opposite. Brain versus muscle. We sometimes get into an argument about that, but we keep it under control. We understand that we need both to keep this team functioning.  
>His fights with Leo are terrible and annoy me more than anything! It just makes me want to jump up and start fighting as well. But I don't, for Mike's sake.<br>He tries to hide it, but I can see how badly it hurts him to see his oldest brothers fight. And since he's my only younger brother, I want to protect him from any possible harm.  
>So I stay calm and try to solve the fight.<p>

Mikey is always happy. At least, that's what he wants you to believe. He thinks he's just in the team because he's family and because he keeps the mood up. But he does so much more than that!  
>He has saved our lives so many times with his creative ideas and his speed.<br>I once heard him mutter to himself that he's useless. I couldn't help but hug him right there. I felt him stiffen for a second, but then he just hugged back with all the power he had.  
>I wish he didn't push all his pain aside until he can't take it anymore.<br>That's why I sometimes treat him like a baby, because I have to protect my baby brother from any pain. It doesn't matter if that harm is physically or mentally, I won't let it happen!

I learned to be so protective from Sensei. He thought us everything we know. From fighting to taking care of each other.  
>When we first went up to the surface and we had saved April and everything was taken care of, he asked me to come to his room. He told me that it was my responsibility to take care of the family. Leo might be the leader and Raph the protector, but I am the pacifist. He made me promise that when he couldn't be there anymore, I should keep our family together, in any possible way.<br>Maybe for the first moment in my life, I didn't think. I just answered him that I would, even if it would cost me my life. None of us have ever told the others about our little talk. But he trusts me with the future of our family.  
>And I'm will do everything that is needed to make him proud.<p>

When I look at my computer I see I've been sitting there for about an hour. I sigh and decide to go check on my brothers. Maybe seeing them sleep will give me some peace of mind?

**Author's note: Hi! Sorry, late update! I've been sick, so I couldn't update. But I hope you still liked this chapter! :) There will definitely will be 1 more chapter, maybe 2.  
>You know what to do! Read and review! :D<br>P.S.: thx to everyone who has been reading my stories and supported me in any possible way! I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you!... :D**


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